Well, my birthday this year wasn't the same. I mean, I usually celebrate it in a very festive and Christmassy mood but this year, it just wasn't there. Like, the mirth of the holiday/birthday/Christmas season was missing. I just felt so empty, which is how you feel when you've just lost somebody.
Anyway, apart from the buffet, there wasn't any outing with friends or anything. I felt that I wasn't ready to go out of the house yet, let alone to celebrate something. Shanice had some crazy tactics to drag me out of the house to meet her for about ten seconds so that's an exception. x) Thanks :)
Yeah, that's about it. A big thank you to everyone who made it special through calls, SMS, wishes through Facebook, 25 cupcakes, etc. More importantly, thank you for those who gave me support during my difficult times. Thanks <3
12/23/2009
12/22/2009
A note to God
If I wrote a note to God
I would speak what's in my soul
I'd ask for all the hate to be swept away
For love to overflow
If I wrote a note to God
I'd pour my heart out on each page
I'd ask for war to end
and for peace to mend this world
I'd say, I'd say, I'd say
Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love, cause love is overdue
And it seems like so much is going wrong
On this road we're on
If I wrote a note to God
I'd say please help us find a way
End all the bitterness
Put some tenderness in our hearts
I'd say, I'd say, I'd say
Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love, cause love is overdue
And it looks like we haven't got a clue
Need some help from You
Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is going wrong
On this road we're on
No, no
We can't do it on our own
So, so
Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love, cause love is overdue
And it looks like we haven't got a clue
Need some help
Grant us the faith to carry on
Hope, when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is going wrong
On this road we're on
No, no
We can't do it on our own
So, so
If I wrote a note to God
- Note to God by Charice
12/20/2009
Mulan
I heard this on Fly FM this afternoon and I still can't get over how hilarious it is.
*Nadia (Fly FM) asked some random girl a question which I didn't catch, but I'm quite sure it was, "Why do you like Mulan?"*
Girl: I like Mulan because she looks so Asian! She looks really Chinese.
Nadia: Err... Mulan is Chinese!
Girl: Oh. Really?!
12/16/2009
12/14/2009
Hard times
the past month or so have been a real challenge for my family (my whole big family) and I, because of what we'd gone through - sleepless nights, apprehension, grief and not one moment without my paternal grandmother in our thoughts. being admitted to the hospital for various problems that she had, every week meant paying visits to the hospital and seeing her condition deteriorate by day.
the sight of somebody - and not just somebody, but somebody dear to you - lying helpless on the hospital bed with tubes everywhere was painful. painful because there was distress ravaged on every shade of her face and yet she could still muster up enough strength to smile at us. painful because the future was uncertain. painful because her recovery was unlikely.
so this was a formidable problem for the entire family. her condition had improved a little, but went downhill again, worsening as time passed. some of my aunts and cousins even flew back from England and Singapore. that gave us the opportunity to reminisce and build closer bonds with one another. this period of time was certainly difficult, and all we needed were each other. slowly, we learnt to accept the fact that my grandmother was not improving or recovering. in other words, she was going to die soon.
soon, she was slowly slipping into a sort-of coma. I don't know if she could hear us talk to her, telling her how much we loved and missed her, or feel our touch. two Thursdays back, the Doctor said that she had approximately 48 hours left. since we had already accepted and expected this, it wasn't something shocking and sudden. little did we know that she was going to survive for six more days... and there wasn't a day when we didn't sit by her side, treasuring every single second as we touched and talked to her.
on Tuesday, we returned home from the hospital at about 9 at night. I went to bed at 12, and was woken up one hour later to go to the hospital. she was called home to the Lord peacefully.
it was a huge loss for all of us, because she was really a remarkable and loving mother, sister, friend and grandmother - truly a great person. I can say so much about her, but in short, she had a bottomless well of love for all of us which we are forever grateful of, and returned dearly.
in summation, this week was... wow. it ended well, though, after the small farewell dinner for my aunt yesterday at RSC. we drew our whole big and confusing family tree! my Dad, Aunty Yvonne and Uncle Robin reminiscing about the past (when they were kids) was the best part of it. so much of memories flowed back, and it was especially fun for my cousins and I to hear of them. :)
... because in the end, memories are all you have left.
Rest in peace, Grandma. May God be with you always.
the sight of somebody - and not just somebody, but somebody dear to you - lying helpless on the hospital bed with tubes everywhere was painful. painful because there was distress ravaged on every shade of her face and yet she could still muster up enough strength to smile at us. painful because the future was uncertain. painful because her recovery was unlikely.
so this was a formidable problem for the entire family. her condition had improved a little, but went downhill again, worsening as time passed. some of my aunts and cousins even flew back from England and Singapore. that gave us the opportunity to reminisce and build closer bonds with one another. this period of time was certainly difficult, and all we needed were each other. slowly, we learnt to accept the fact that my grandmother was not improving or recovering. in other words, she was going to die soon.
soon, she was slowly slipping into a sort-of coma. I don't know if she could hear us talk to her, telling her how much we loved and missed her, or feel our touch. two Thursdays back, the Doctor said that she had approximately 48 hours left. since we had already accepted and expected this, it wasn't something shocking and sudden. little did we know that she was going to survive for six more days... and there wasn't a day when we didn't sit by her side, treasuring every single second as we touched and talked to her.
on Tuesday, we returned home from the hospital at about 9 at night. I went to bed at 12, and was woken up one hour later to go to the hospital. she was called home to the Lord peacefully.
it was a huge loss for all of us, because she was really a remarkable and loving mother, sister, friend and grandmother - truly a great person. I can say so much about her, but in short, she had a bottomless well of love for all of us which we are forever grateful of, and returned dearly.
in summation, this week was... wow. it ended well, though, after the small farewell dinner for my aunt yesterday at RSC. we drew our whole big and confusing family tree! my Dad, Aunty Yvonne and Uncle Robin reminiscing about the past (when they were kids) was the best part of it. so much of memories flowed back, and it was especially fun for my cousins and I to hear of them. :)
"What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be now for ever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind;
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be;
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of human suffering;
In the faith that looks through death,
In years that bring the philosophic mind. "
— William Wordsworth (Intimations of Immortality)
Be now for ever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind;
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be;
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of human suffering;
In the faith that looks through death,
In years that bring the philosophic mind. "
— William Wordsworth (Intimations of Immortality)
... because in the end, memories are all you have left.
Rest in peace, Grandma. May God be with you always.
12/10/2009
Grandma,
It's so hard to accept that you're gone...
We'll always love and miss you. Forever and ever and ever and ever.
♥
12/08/2009
FormSpring
I've created a FormSpring account! (Click)
Start posting me questions, people!
P/S: Many thanks to my Plurk buddies, Hao Zhe and Gwen :D
Start posting me questions, people!
P/S: Many thanks to my Plurk buddies, Hao Zhe and Gwen :D
December babies
6th December
Happy Birthday, Yu Shen!
7th December
Happy Birthday, Nathalia!
Happy Birthday, Ashwin!
8th December
Happy Birthday, Wen-Li!
and 10th December - Happy Birthday, Melanie!
12/06/2009
Dear XXX,
I wish you were here. I wish you were right in front of me, telling me everything and expressing yourself verbally. I wish I was there to listen. And look into your eyes. I wish text messaging never existed. I wish it was like the Romeo and Juliet days when people could sneak into somebody else's balcony to say what they needed to say. Verbally.
I wish you were here to listen to what I have to say.
But none of what I wish for would come true, would it? It's not impossible, it's just unlikely. Time was running out, and it (time) compelled me to tell you what I had to say non-verbally in so few words. If you were here with me, we would have taken it differently, because they were just words. Words that weren't uttered in our very voices or portrayed by our eyes.
There is so much I can say. You wanted the truth, so I gave it to you, but non-verbally. I mean, if you were here or if I was there with you, it would have been different. Really different.
XXX, I'm sorry.
I wish you were here. I wish you were right in front of me, telling me everything and expressing yourself verbally. I wish I was there to listen. And look into your eyes. I wish text messaging never existed. I wish it was like the Romeo and Juliet days when people could sneak into somebody else's balcony to say what they needed to say. Verbally.
I wish you were here to listen to what I have to say.
But none of what I wish for would come true, would it? It's not impossible, it's just unlikely. Time was running out, and it (time) compelled me to tell you what I had to say non-verbally in so few words. If you were here with me, we would have taken it differently, because they were just words. Words that weren't uttered in our very voices or portrayed by our eyes.
There is so much I can say. You wanted the truth, so I gave it to you, but non-verbally. I mean, if you were here or if I was there with you, it would have been different. Really different.
XXX, I'm sorry.
Kay Yi
12/05/2009
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